We All Need Somebody to Lean On
by PvtBrook
Summary: She moved to sit beside the crying girl and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Lexa leaned her head against Clarke's shoulder. "I-It is all my f-fault.." — Rated T; Oneshot: Completed.


**I'm not good at writing beginnings. Or endings.**

—.—

She blinked harshly at the counter in front of her and picked up another shot. She swung her head back and tipped the drink into her mouth, not even reacting to the terrible taste anymore.

When she slammed the glass back down on the table, she felt her whole world swimming around her. Her vision was shaky and blurry and everything was too bright. She gripped the edge of the counter in hopes it would keep her steady. The brunette felt laughter bubble in her throat but she couldn't hear it anymore with the music drowning out almost all other sounds.

The girl stumbled backwards but was quickly put to a stop from landing on her ass when she felt something behind her wrap around her waist. She glanced behind her with a stupid grin across her face, "Heeey Clarke!"

Clarke rolled her eyes back at her. "What are you doing. I leave for a few minutes and…Lexa how much have you _drank?_ "

Lexa turned in her girlfriend's arms so she was facing her. "N-not much," she hiccuped. "Maaaybe two. O-or ffffive. Or, uhh...orrrr..."

"I get that you got back recently," Clarke stated as she positioned herself so she could carry Lexa out better, "but don't you think you're going a little bit far? I know they don't really let you drink much when you're deployed but come on, Lex."

Lexa and Clarke stumbled out of the bar together and into the November evening. It was cold and the wind was blowing. Clarke sauntered down the road with Lexa hanging off her side mumbling nonsense and giggling to herself. The blonde kept glancing at her girlfriend worriedly; she has never gotten this drunk before. She has known Lexa for five years and not once has she ever gotten so wasted to the point she was basically out of commission.

Lexa nudged Clarke a little, "Claaarke?"

"Yes?"

"Whaat's wrong?" She slurred.

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows at her. She stopped walking and made sure Lexa halted. The blonde sat the other girl down onto the grass and had her lean against the dark green humming transformer behind her. Clarke kneeled down in front of her a made sure Lexa was looking back at her. "Why have you been drinking so much recently? It isn't like you."

Lexa's smile slowly faded off her face. She glanced around the surrounding area to avoid eye contact with her girlfriend. She had wanted to avoid this conversation. She had never wanted to talk about how she witnessed her best friend be die in front of her; never wanted to process how she saw her _older sister_ had been shot through her chest. She didn't want to picture how her lifeless body fell against her. How the last time she held her sister was with her blood soaking through her uniform while she tried to helplessly stop the bleeding. How she had to _leave_ her there alone.

"A...Anya...she..." Lexa sputtered. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her eyes were watering. "S-she's..." Tears fell.

Clarke understood immediately. She moved to sit beside the crying girl and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Lexa leaned her head against Clarke's shoulder. "I-It is all my f-fault.."

"No it isn't," Clarke stated.

"It isss." Lexa slurred. "I shoulda t-told her or something. Anything."

"Look Lexa. You could not have done _anything_ to save her, alright? This isn't your fault. You did everything you could."

Lexa gripped Clarke's shirt in her hand tightly like it was her lifeline. "I-I'm sorry A-Anya. I'm s-so, so so-orry."

After minutes of Lexa crying into Clarke's shoulder, she started to calm down. Her grip on Clarke's shirt started to loosen and her breathing slowly evened out, minus the occasional hiccup. Clarke was running her fingers through the brunette's hair peacefully.

The blonde slowly pulled out her phone and checked the time. "Lexa..." She gently nudged her girlfriend. "Lexa come on, we gotta go home."

"Mmm...sssleepy..."

Clarke giggled. "Yeah, I know baby. Get up and you can sleep once we get home, okay?"

Once she got a mumbled "okay" she helped Lexa to her feet leisurely. Clarke once again wrapped her arm around Lexa's waist to keep her upright then started walking back down the sidewalk.

"Clarke?"

"Yes Lexa?"

"Do you think Anya blames me...?"

A warm gust of wind brushed by them.

"Absolutely not."

—.—

 **I have another _The 100_ fic waiting in the wings to be finished. I hopefully will finish it soon.**

 **I was told this was pretty good so im sorry if I was lied to on that. Overall, how did you all like it? Feedback is always appreciated!**

 **Thank you!**


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